With apologies to Lt Col T Collins RIR (and thinking of CHCB, our NI heroine)
We cum to liberate, not to conquer.
We will not wave our genitalia in their faces
We are entering this challenge to free no-longer-possible people and the only flag which will be flown in that ancient tradition is their own.
Show respect for them.

There are many hundreds of thousands who are alive at this moment who will not be alive shortly.
Those who do not wish to go on that journey, we will not send, unless they are caught in the rush.
As for the others, I expect you to rock their world.
Wipe them up (if that is what they choose).
But if you are ferocious in battle remember to be magnanimous in victory.

Onanism is steeped in history.
It is the site of the source of the Garden of Eden, of the Great Flood of 2008 and the birthplace of Abraham.
Tread lightly there. You may slip otherwise.

You will see things that no man could pay to see and you will have to go a long way to find a more decent, generous and upright people than the B3tans, man and woman alike.
You will be embarrassed by their hospitality even if they have nothing.

Don't treat your output as refugees for they are in their own country.
They will be poor, in years to come they will know that the light of liberation in their brief tissue-spilled lives was brought by you.

If there are casualties of the event then remember that when they woke up and got dressed in the morning they did not plan to die this day.
Allow them dignity in death.
Clean them up properly and mark their graves.

It is my foremost intention to bring every single one of you out alive.
But there may be those among us who will not see the end of this campaign.
We will put them in their boxers and carry them back.
There will be no time for sorrow, only hygiene.

It is a big step to take hundreds of thousands of potential human lives.
It is not to be done lightly.
I know of men who have taken lives needlessly in other conflicts.
I can assure you they live with the mark of Cain upon them.

If some surrenders to you then remember they have that right in international law and ensure that one day they go home to their family.
The ones who wish to fight, well, we aim to please with our left or right hands, wrists and fingers.

If you harm the 1st battalion, the B3ta regiment or its history by over-enthusiasm in killing or in cowardice, know it is your family who will suffer.

You will be shunned unless your conduct is of the highest - for your deeds will follow you down through history. We will bring stain on neither our uniform or our nation.

It is not a question of if, it's a question of when. We know we have already devolved the decision to our lower commanders, and that means we have already taken the decision ourselves.

If we survive the first strike we will survive the attack no matter how long we must strive for ultimate victory.

As for ourselves, let's bring everyone home and leave the Kleenex a better place for us having been there.

Our business now is in eight minutes.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 15:53, Reply)