So many
1) When I was nine, I stood up in front of the whole school at assembly to say that I was having a jumble sale to raise money for handicapped children. I had the sale and spent all the proceeds on chocolate eclairs for myself.
2) I had sexual intercourse with a tall glass of baked beans.
3) I stayed at the Holy Peninsua of Mount Athos in Greece after lying to them about being a Christian. Then I knocked one off in the lavs while there.
4) I stamped on the hand of a child beggar in Poland as he tried to get a coin from under my foot.
5) I shagged a friend who was unconscious after drinking all afternoon.
6) I regularly stole money from the Spastics Society donation box at my work and spent it on chocolate bars.
7) While working at B&Q I accused a child of breaking a lampshade I had dropped and then watched as his father beat him quite severely.
8) While trying to shag a Christian at univeristy, I was subjected to a group praying session and secretly prayed that everyone present would die instantly - apart from me, obviously.
9) I stole money from a girlfriend in China in order to go for a slap-up binge at Pizza Hut. I told her I needed it for an exit visa.
10) I don't love my family. I have no feelings for them at all.

Good job there's no god, eh?
(frankspencer, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 14:23, Reply)