Lecturer
A friend of mine, um, let's call him, er, Jamie.

Ok, it's me....

Anyway. At Uni, I was a bit of a geek - actually I would have made "Moss" from the IT crowd look positively outgoing....

There was this lecturer (no names I'm afraid) who I thought was gorgeous (Bit of a crocadillypig I'm afraid) and I liked her. A lot.

So what did I do? At a Uni ball that I helped organise (well, it got me free tickets) - I knew she'd be there so I had a cunning plan.

Well, for cunning read "stupid as a rock".

I'd wait until she was drunk and hit on her - everyone knows how attractive a drunk 19 year old IT geek is.... It was the best plan I could come with as I knew she fancied me (ha ha ha).

The stage was set and the plan was afoot - except I got arseholed in about 3 seconds and proceeded to carry on drinking so I made my move. Cue much groping and fumbling, by me - I suspect she might have been fending me off.

I, not to be deterred by this hit on my friend (let's not name her) who had the psychotic boyfriend....

The next memory I had was waking up face down on my floor....

I had to formally apologise to the lecturer (I kinda liked my course) as it seemed like a good idea.

Being an IT geek, I'd learnt my lesson. So you'd've thought - I saw her out twice more, once on a Sheffield Pyjama Jump and both times, I hit on her.

Note that when I say "hit on her" - I more mean throw myself at her face and grope at her body parts.

The guilty secret?

I wanted to hit on her every time - I told my friends that it was the drink.

The other guilty bit - She really, really wasn't that attractive in any way shape or form.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Sun 2 Sep 2007, 15:13, Reply)