Blast Freezer
Same factory as below.

Ever been in a blast freezer? Well, it's where meat is taken and frozen quickly.

You need to ensure that you're kitted out properly and that you know where the emergency exit is and that you can get out quickly.

So when I decided to go in without the proper gear on and see what happened when I pull that door over....

Ah - it's stuck shut.

Not a problem, I'll hit the alarm.

Ah, shit, it's frozen shut.

What's the temparature before I die - uh-oh it's -50.

Not good - noone was due to come in and I should NOT have been in there.

Ok, need a valid excuse for stupidity - Someone shoved me in, that's right - I started to concoct the most bullshit story in the world - not too much detail as that's the beauty of a good lie - not too much detail.

After about 20 minutes someone came in - I staggered out into +30 degree sunshine (the external doors to the factory were open) - not nice.

"What the hell are you doing in there JTW?"
"Someone pushed me in"
"Who?"
And out came this bollocks story how I'd been passing and had a look inside - someone shoved me, pulled the door over and ran off...
"Oh my god - we'd better check the CCTV"
Thinks - shit - what CCTV? I look up - oh, that CCTV. Hmm, this lie will unravel quickly.....

But the CCTV wasn't working - yay!

Cue a 3 day investigation into the matter and my story, thankfully, stayed the same - No culprit was found and I got £100 hush money.

Result!

Less funny when I did the same in a different blast freezer a week later and accidentally set the alarm off....

The guilty part - well, it was a laugh, I got £100 and, er, ok - not so much guilt but I did cause a huge investigation into something that was clearly bollocks - probably cost the company a ton of money for new CCTV too :-)
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Sun 2 Sep 2007, 15:25, Reply)