Ah this was awful
I'd had a very drunken night out with my friend Sean, and the next day I picked up an answerphone message from him.

It said "listen, I don't know what I must have done to deserve that, but you must really hate me. I've had some shitty stuff done to me but this was off the scale. I don't know whether I want an apology or what, but to be honest I don't really want to see you again".

My heart stopped - what had I done? I couldn't remember a single thing. I rang him and he didn't pick up. So I did what any self-respecting man would do; I drank half a bottle of Pimms and went to bed.

Later I phoned drinkline and told them everything. A very kind man asked me how much I drank, and how often. I said "once or twice a week, several pints".
"of beer?", he asked?
"Yes."
"So you drink several pints of beer once or twice a week, and you do things that you subsequently regret?"
"Yes".
He said "To be honest I don't think you're an alcoholic, just a young person. I recommend that you carry on drinking if you like, but just try not to act like a tosser".
He sounded like he could use a drink himself to be honest, he was quite animated when talking about booze.

Anyway Sean called a couple of weeks later. I said "I don't know what I've done but I'm so, so sorry..."
He said "what? oh the message! yeah that was just a joke".

Apologies for breadth.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:01, Reply)