In The Navy
.
"Rum, sodomy and the lash" was how Wellington described the navy. The rum and the lash have gone but old sodomy is alive and well in the modern navy.

My mate Jim joined up and, before he went away, I gave him some sound advice.

Don't. Bend. Over.

Especially in the showers.

So Jim took this advice and had a trouble free time. Of course, the old salts were forever dropping their soap in the showers and asking Jim to pick it up but Jim was wise to them. Instead of bending over to pick up the soap, Jim would crouch and thus avoid giving someone a free *ahem* crack at his arse-hole.

All was well until one night when Jim was on watch during the dog-hours. He was stationed at the front of the ship on the port side with an old salty sea-dog called Burt.

"Where are we off to next Burt" asked Jim.

Burt spat over the side.

"Birmingham" he rasped. "We're doing a night run up the M6 to Birmingham.

"What the fuck?" says Jim " How the hell are we getting to Birmingham - it's landlocked"

"Did you not know that this ship is one of the new class of amphibious destroyers?" says Burt. "We just wind out the wheels and off we go"

"Wheels? What Wheels" asked Jim getting very confused.

"The wheels at the bottom of the ship. If you look closely you can see them just below the waterline" says Burt.

So Jim leans over the rail and peers at the bottom of the ship.

"I can't see any wheEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS!"

Cheers

Thenk you very much. I'll be under the pier all week......
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 9:54, 3 replies)

Unexpected bumrape ftw!!!
_{May not be an entirely earnest response.}

Click.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 10:23, closed)

Oh. My. God.
You are the worst. I'm in traction with my fucking back out for the first time in yonks and you are making me laugh. And howl in pain. And laugh. And howl some more.
Ad infinitum...
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 4:11, closed)

HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Fan-bloody-tastic Legless!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 13:41, closed)