Finally got the old bugger...
When I started my current job, I soon realised that the soon to be retiring old timer I was eventually replacing, was a completely cantankerous bastard who blindly kidded himself that his age brought him wisdom and wit. He was the sort that flatly refused to show you the ropes or any sort of handover and loved to watch you struggle. He'd actually laugh in your face like a child if he could embarrass you in any way in front of senior staff, but went berserk with rage if he was ever the butt of the joke. Needless to say I hated him with a vengeance. We did a lot of work in London and the predictable old sod always resorted to the same routine and hotel, kidding himself he was a regular and on first name terms with all the staff. Anyway, he duly retired in the summer and come Xmas I was still smarting with anger. So I called in at this hotel, nabbed some of their letter headed paper and an envelope and concocted a "special thank you" and "complimentary weekend" inviting "Dear Billy and partner" to London for the seasonal shopping and festive lights of Oxford Street with dinner for two in the restaurant, regards on his recent retirement from all the staff.

He fell for it hook, line and sinker. Rumour has it the silly old sod demanded an enquiry from his former employers, who were too busy smirking by all accounts!

He'd actually turned up at the hotel on spec with his wife, I know because I checked and even they laughed!!
(minky, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 23:12, Reply)