Another tale from a Greek isle
On moving to the island of Kos, I immediately fell in love with its charm. Its beauty was multi-sensory; the village church looked as if it was made of marzipan. I could imagine cutting a slice off to savour at sunset, washed down with a glass of retsina - the oily taste cutting through the sweetness of the church. The taste of warm sea air mixed with the scent of fresh marjoram and the royal herb, basil; blended with the tempting smells of sweet pastries and roasting lamb, all danced capriciously in my nostrils...

One particular balmy evening was especially impressive, the first night I'd seen a full moon since my immigration. I'd watched it rising over the sea, its immense grace emerging from the precipice of the earth, slowly distributing its peachy, silvery light over the sea towards land.

Keen to immerse myself completely in this delightful section of life, I was eager to learn the language as well as customs, cuisine and culture. I made a mini phrase book which was constinually updated with new expressions and grammatical nuances. I already knew that adding the suffix "aki" made the root word smaller, e.g. duckling, riverlet and similarly, adding "ara" to the end had the opposite effect, making a bigger version of the root word, thus: kolos = arse, ergo an arse like mine is "kolara".

The first job I found was in a rustic little taverna as a hostess, for which I received 2000 drachma plus my supper, for 4 hours of chatting. As cutomers dwindled towards the end of the night, my Greek colleagues would teach me traditional dances as well as building on my vocabulary. This particular evening of the full moon, which I'd been admiring at every opportunity, they taught me that the word for moon is "mooni"....

So, a sickle moon would be "moonaki" and the full moon, in all its glory, would be "moonara".

"Yes-yes!" nodded my waiter friends enthusiastically.

Always eager to try out new expressions/vocabulary, I skipped ebulliently down the street, smiling at all I passed and proclaiming, "Kali spera! Ti omorfi moonara pou echoume apopse!"
I thought I was saying, "Good evening! What a beautiful full moon we have this evening!"

After half an hour, I was informed that the word for moon is "fengari".

"Mooni" means cunt...
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 18:09, 3 replies)

Somehow I think nobody would have thought that wierd coming from you : )
.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 18:15, closed)

*Splutter*
Absolutely beautifully written "Its beauty was multi-sensory; the village church looked as if it was made of marzipan. I could imagine cutting a slice off to savour at sunset, washed down with a glass of retsina"... Why can't I write like that?

And it has the word "cunt" as it's punchline. Only Tourettes can get away with this folks.

Clicketty.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 27 Aug 2008, 20:20, closed)

That...

Is quite simply brilliant. Stunningly and poetically well written, with top drawer sweary funnies thrown in...

and it's all the better for I can now imagine this being said from your dulcet tones...

*clicks until his hairy nadsacks ache*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 27 Aug 2008, 20:46, closed)