Back in the good ol’ days...
...when I was able to blag a lot of freebies I used to go to the gym with my dad for freeee, and not just any old gym, a prison gym!

I must point out that I wasn’t in with the prisoners, I was in a gym with prison officers - their gym, not-surprisingly wasn’t as plush as the one the prisoners had.

Anyhoo… there were many characters at this gym and a few of them require honourable mention:

Crazy McBagpipes
He was a crazed Scotsman who used to run on the treadmill whilst subjecting the entire room to the booming tones of dance music, bagpipes styleee… seriously I never knew there were worse things than panpipes music – The dance music version of Stairway to Heaven on bagpipes takes the cake.

Mr Sweats-a-lot
As the name suggests he was quite a scary man, if you ran on a treadmill either side of him you would find that half of your body would be flecked with his sweat after about 30 seconds. He also never brought a towel with him and had slightly see-through shorts on – eeeeew!

Farty-Weights-Man
A massive roid-raged individual who used to saunter into the gym, stare at all the other guys in the room and then lift, well, everything, and smash it to the floor whilst expelling gas – classy gent.

Chatty-Ladies
Two women that used to wander into the gym together, take up two treadmills side by side, walk whilst chatting for about 15 minutes and then leave together still chatting away – Slightly pointless!?

Captain Brand
There’s one in every gym, pretty much a walking billboard for Nike. He would stroll around trying not to get any sweat or creases in his highly sought after attire. I never really did see him break a sweat even once – Git.

So there we have it, the usual suspects, with the exception of Crazy McBagpipes, I have a feeling that he was somewhat of a unique individual.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 9 Jul 2009, 14:30, 1 reply)

I must say, your post scared me.
I haven't even read it all yet, but I can imagine the bagpipe techno version of Stairway so easily that I'm sure it will haunt my dreams....
thanks for ruining my one good night of sleep a week!
(Angie the Redneck Wonder, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 15:11, closed)