Jesus Christ.........Now with kung fu grip!
One reason for a ticket to hell that immediately springs to my mind is that I am planting false ideas into my sons head about the things that Jesus did. To give you a bit of a background my son goes to the local Church school and will always return with happy clappy Jesus songs that really get on my wick.

I would also like to add that I’m not making up totally false stories (That plan was stopped by the wife after she heard me telling him the story of when Jesus beat Godzilla) I just like to add a bit of my own blend of stupidity to the bible. One example is the story of Jesus and the Money Charges.

According to my version of events Jesus went to the temple and found out that it had become an indoor market. Jesus was quite angry at this as anyone would be (If it was anything like the indoor market near me then he had the right to be angry). Before Jesus could say anything one of the shadier stall owners hit Jesus over the head with a metal chair, this attack method was useless as Jesus was so angry he was in a place where nothing could hurt him.

Immediatley after this chairshot Jesus started to grow in size and his skin turned green incredible Hulk style (The next bit varies each time I tell the tale but it usually ends with Jesus blowing up tanks using his laser vision)

.....actually I think that this sort of thing should get me into heaven as it is getting kids interested in reading the bible. I know I would have been more interested in the thing if someone told me that Jesus did this.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:50, Reply)