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This is a question I'm going to Hell...

...because I said the Lord's Prayer backwards at a funeral to summon up the Goat of Mendes, Freddie Woo tells us. Tell us why you're doomed.

Thanks to Kaol for the suggestion

(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:09)
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Grandad's Funeral
Ignoring 95% of backstory, my grandad was an utter legend and if I was old enough to do so at the time when he kicked the oxygen habit, he would have been my number 1 drinking buddy.

Come the day of the funeral, his war veteran senile mates all arrive at the crematorium to bid him farewell. Ceremony starts, dreary organ music chimes in and sets the somber tone as the man of the cloth takes to the stand(this is why I'm going into the flames to the Magic Roundabout theme; far more fun.) Being 9 years old at the time, I'm crying worse then than I did at the end of Terminator 2, as are the rest of my family, although I think that was because of the funeral though and not the whole Arnie thumbs up in molten steel thing. Senile gits are whispering among one another, which only angered me and made us all cry harder.

Quoteth the father:

'The late Mr FoxyBadger McAwesomeness Sr., who bravely fought for his country in two world -'

'HOLD ON!' pipes senile old timer #1 'The cheeky bastard is late? What selfish turd turns up late to their own funeral'

'It's just like that Mr FoxyBadger!' screams senile old timer #2, in agreement with the rest of the coffin dodgers 'I don't know why we bothered turning up to this fucking place if he won't grace us with his presence! Sod this, we're leaving this guy to burn'

All at once, senile gits stand up and form an orderly line to the door. My jaw was still enduring the strong gravitational pull of the carpet when every over 65 in the room does a U-turn and travels over to the casket to give their farewells before returning to their seats like nothing had happened. Not a word was said.

It was a pact among their war survivor group that the first one to shuffle off the mortal coil gets their sending off ruined for dramatic effect. My grandad was a hero, but is probably still burning now.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:22, 4 replies)
That is probably the best sendoff I have ever heard of in the history of everness.

*Click frenzy*
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:49, closed)
If this doesn't win...
... I think I'll cry!

Have a few dozen clicks Mr FoxyBadger McAwesomeness Sr...
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:29, closed)
I'm going to have to make a similar arrangement if I live long enough.
(, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 13:57, closed)
A click for the old timers...

A few clicks for your grandad.

and a million clicks for you, for the brilliant way in which you told this story.

*starts clicking*

this may take some time
(, Sat 13 Dec 2008, 9:30, closed)

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