Laughing in the face of someone else's adversity
I took a phonecall in work from a customer who had a very clear and comical stutter.
"Hi you're through to Jeccym how can I help?"
"I-I-I-I-can't get ont-t-t-t-t-to the ininininininin-browse the ininininin-webpages, gives page cannot be displayed."
*GRINS*
"Oh I'm sorry to hear that sir, can I take your details please?"
So after 18 attempts I get the correct post code and I confirm his name etc. As I start looking at the previous notes on his account he says;
"I-I-I called beforrre wi-wi-wi-wi-wiww-with this prob. I didn't mean to hu-hu-hu......hu-hu-hang up on thu-thu-the guy though, me-me-me.....me...me-me-me....me-me-me......me credit run out on me phone."
My fucking silent mute button on the phone was flipped on so quick as I practically fell off me chair laughing at that.
Single to hull please :)
There was another one; some elderly guy phoned in to do with problems with his internet. So I ask him a few basic details and start fixing his issue (by walking him through it).
I first ask him to click the "Start" button (as he's on Windows, non Mac-user-discriminating, me).
He says "ARRRGHHHHH! Right, clicked that."
Eh? "Um, ok, can you click run please?"
"OOOWWWW, yeah clicked that."
"Errr, everything ok sir?"
"Well what it is lad is that when I was in me teens I served in the British Army and got stationed in Africa."
"Oh, are you aggravating an injury?"
"No, no, no. I was meant to be out there for two years, but a few weeks in I was bitten by a wee rare snake. This li'l bastard though was a rare'un. His venom reacts with me nervous system so that when I touch anything it makes me feel pain."
"Ow. You don't mind me asking how old you are now sir?"
"56."
Forty years this guy's put up with this. Christ.
2 seconds of remorse later, ah well, lets have some fun.
"Right, very sorry to hear that but to fix this issue I'm going to need to get you to type some more things."
So it went a bit like "Do this" "arrgggh blah blah" to "Ok, I'm going to need you to rewire your modem" "ARRRGGGGHH FECKING HELL OH GOD ARRRGGH" to "Type this..." "MMNNPHPHHAARRGGGHH nope still not working" to "unplug the router and wire direct" and "OHFUCKINGOWOWOWARRRGHH" etc etc.
I dragged the call out to about 20 minutes of this. By which time I'd managed to get half of my team to listen in and wet themselves laughing at this poor sod.
Oh well, better than killing patients I suppose.
Oh and soz for length, [INSERT WITTY REMARK HERE]
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:42, 5 replies)

!
Harsh!
( rofl harris, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:04, closed)

Stutters...
Are not funny things to have. I've had mine since I was six or thereabouts. 22 years of having twats like you laughing because of what is essentially a disability is not comedic.

Neither is deliberately inflicting pain on a man with a medical condition purely so you and your asinine call-centre friends can have a laugh is also cuntish in the extreme.

You, sir, are a prime cunt.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 23:20, closed)

Yes, yes I am
And that is why in this case I is going to hell.

I do generally speak to people with stutters about once every 2 months and I normally always give that person the time they need to say what they want to say; I don't interrupt and try to 2nd guess that person or say anything to make them feel like they are an inconvenience to me. I let them dictate the pace of the call so that I can get the job done.

But hey, ya gorra laff :) Up until the point where he mentioned the mobile I was concentrating solely on the job at hand (fixing his comp, not using the toilet), guess it caught me off-guard a bit. It's like a spastic opening his first Christmas present to find out he's been bought "Twister", it's just an awkward set of circumstances and conclusions that should be avoided.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 6:27, closed)

@plumdozer
HAve you read what the QOTW is?

It;s not going to be a story of how Jeccy sorted the techy problem for someone is it...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:42, closed)

Yes I have...
...and Jeccy's story is still the story of a cunt being a cunt.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 14 Dec 2008, 21:17, closed)