In my lifetime
...I've done the old trick of writing "All the best, Love God" in hotel Gideons.

I've also urinated against a church while drunk. In my defence I didn't realise it was a church until after my casual nod and "alright?" to a passing vicar while doing up my flies afterwards.

But my most Hellish moment was while trying to get with a good Christian girl a few years ago. No, it's not going down that route. I'd tried to play the good boy card, hiding a large portion of my record collection, stopping masturbation (that one was tough) and generally trying to be the best I could according to the rules of her chosen faith. Like I said, trying to get with her. Anyway, it got to the point where her parents would trust us to be alone together, and we sat down to watch a movie.

The Passion Of The Christ.

Now, thankfully, this was before the recut video that appeared in the b3ta newsletter yonks ago (the one sped up and set to the Benny Hill theme) but I still felt the lure of the dark side. I survived the Pointius Pilate scenes with barely a grin. I suppressed a titter when Jesus carried the cross to Calvary. However, as he's crucified to death, and the single drop of rain falls, I couldn't help myself.

"A-a-a-and...always look on the bright side of life!"

It didn't last very long after that.
(jamesthegill opens new tabs with his scroll wheel, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:20, Reply)