I dont for one minute believe I'm going to hell for smiting God-botherers
but here is my story of having done so to join the many which have gone before -

Some context: my brother's web handle is DROC. He likes to walk around naked.

So, during one of my many sojourns in Paris with DROC when he was still a single (ish) man living in a 5th floor Parisian hovel where the dining space was the staging area for a stand off between the poo clouds from the seldom functioning toilet and the booty schtank from the Droc’sters pit, there came a knock-knock-knocking upon his door.

I said,

“DROC, pray tell me this and no more,
Who could be a-knock-knocking upon your door?”

And DROC he did answer,

“Not now nor before
did I know nor will I til I answer my door!”

Now the day it was hot and no amount of air
Nor water could temp DROC from walking round bare

Save for flimsy old pants that he wore so that I
Would not run the risk of losing an eye!

So he raised from his pit with his gonads a-dangle,

I said,

“Brother! Your modesty’s subject to scandal!

Better tuck in those fellas! Maybe chuck on a shirt!”
When from under the door came a-sliding a certain

Publication entitled ‘The Watchtower’. Yes!
The odious, God bothering proselyte wretches

Had found us quite drunk and yet resolute.
DROC opened the door to a black girl, quite cute

With a few words of English and a devilish smile.
She appeared undaunted by DROC’s cavalier style.

She told him she’d seen his name on the bell
and smiling, revealed, that from this she could tell

he was English, when suddenly, up from his stupor,
did bazman arise and acquire powers super!

Baz’ spidey sense knew there was evil a-lurking.
His beloved brother was in danger of church-ing!

So baz grabbed ‘The Watchtower’ from his poor brothers hand
And jammed it back into the claws of those damned

Pretty churchgoing zealots who flatter to please
But unaided by clamps will not open their knees!

Nor will they ever be first at the bar!
baz invoked the spirit and cast them afar

From DROC’s door and then slammed it and here I conclude.
DROC told me I shouldn’t have been quite so rude.

I said,

“Dude, are you joking, standing there in your keks?
At least when I smote them, I was fully dressed!”.

Rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 16:56, 2 replies)

"But unaided by clamps will not open their knees"
Nicely done, sir. Nicely done. I enjoyed that.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 17:18, closed)

Yes
This is made of fantastic.
( Grokthought wouldn't pay that for Chinese 5-Spice, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 4:19, closed)