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This is a question I'm going to Hell...

...because I said the Lord's Prayer backwards at a funeral to summon up the Goat of Mendes, Freddie Woo tells us. Tell us why you're doomed.

Thanks to Kaol for the suggestion

(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:09)
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Been saving this
For when I have time at work....

Have just written this and it's quite long, so apologies now...

Not too long ago, when I was still in yooni and times were passed in a blurry haze of booze, noodles and furious masturbation, one of my friends did something mildly Hell worthy. But funny. But Hell worthy....

It was one balmy night, the day had finished, the sun set and all was as it should be in a student house. Friends had come from far and wide for what was to be known as 'Pat's Birthday Party'. An exciting title you'll agree.

This was to be such an event that even the slightly weird neighbours had worked their way in to our celebrations. One could only guess how. Probably via the door. It's not for me to dwell on.

Much mirth was bandied about, everyone in high spirits for the night ahead, the excitement high in everyone's expectations. Many were quaffing ale, some were playing drinking games, there's one with his testicles on my friends head.



Ah, yes. The much revered 'teabag' technique. I told you those neighbours were strange. They had been there for a full 45 minutes before the overwhelming urge to reveal ones nad-sack and place it ever so gently on to an unsuspecting strangers head had taken hold.

'These are truly students of the highest order!' was the unspoken thought amongst many.

'Fucking, What the fuck!? Fucker! AAH!' was the spoken from the victim.

'I'll get you, you Fucker!'

The bar had been set, the gauntlet thrown and the challenge accepted. He would get revenge, and it would be sweet.

To the end of the night, and the early morning, nothing more was heard of the silent duel between these two. No more shameless revelation of nether regions or wanton name calling.

Until that is, the wronged victim awoke in the morning, giggling to himself. At once pleased and proud. Very much like a cat presenting you with your 'gift' of half a mouse in the morning.

'Pray tell!' exclaimed a few, 'Why the childish glee?'

He could barely contain his brimming excitement, and with a fit of laughter explained the reason.

'Well, I was wondering how to get back your neighbour, and it came to me on the way home.'

His stunning bit of deviousness?

Piss through the letter box.



Even more hilarious when Pat went next door to see if there was any cleaning of fluids being done. Any help needed to contain the territorial markings of a drunken idiot. and there was none. Nobody had noticed any alien fluids, that's for sure. What a mystery!

'Ah' piped Steve from the other front door.

'That's not the one I pissed through....'

Yes, he had indeed pissed through the wrong letterbox. At this point the two thought it best to head back inside, lock the door, and never speak of the incident too loudly again. Not whilst in that house anyway.

They never properly met the other victims next door. Apparently They were not the partying type, and probably wouldn't see the funny side of having a stranger wee through their door anyway....

Somebody's got themselves a ticket for that one...
(, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:16, Reply)

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