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This is a question I'm going to Hell...

...because I said the Lord's Prayer backwards at a funeral to summon up the Goat of Mendes, Freddie Woo tells us. Tell us why you're doomed.

Thanks to Kaol for the suggestion

(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 13:09)
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I may miss hell becuase this was unintentional...
Ironically I'd just been to visit my friend at Preston Royal Infirmary and driven into the centre with my accomplice to do a spot of shopping.

Times up on the car at about 4.45 so we have to head home through the rush hour traffic. We'd had a bit of a poo day what with my friend not being very well n'all so we were listening to the radio to cheer ourselves up, and it turned out to be rather funny.

After a good few miles of us crying with histerical laughter at something that probably wasnt that funny, I realise that we'd shimmied through the traffic a bit too quickly and easily for my liking. Not only that buy you could still see gridlocked cars trying to get through the traffic lights. What was going on?

Id been following an ambulance at speed for a good 15mins.

From the centre of Preston right back to the hospital. Next to the motorway.


Oops.
(, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 16:56, 7 replies)
Good idea though,,,
I was fighting the rush hour Preston traffic too. today; strange roads in Preston, very inconsistent. And you want to try fighting traffic. Very bad for the hands...

Assuming this is Lancashire you're talking about. But probably all Preston's are the same :)
(, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 20:12, closed)
I didnt know
There was any other :)
(, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 20:27, closed)
There's one in Devon
My girlfriend's from there originally. It was very confusing for the first few weeks.
(, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 9:53, closed)
They did that
in the first Die Hard movie- Bruce Willis called for an ambulance for an officer down, then followed it to where he needed to go like following a linebacker.

Glad to know that also works in real life...
(, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 21:04, closed)
It was the third movie

(, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 9:50, closed)

Good to see you were driving with due care and attention... If only ambulances had some means of making themselves more visible to other road users, like maybe loud sirens, flashing lights, and a bright yellow paint job - then this might not have happened.

Joking aside, transport and traffic in Preston's a right sod, ain't it? That's if you can *find* a road that hasn't been 20'ed to death, with plagues of speed bumps that force traffic to a practical limit of 10 if you like your spine, or even less if you're on a motorbike and you like living. Thinking University area (sorry, the "Adelphi Quarter", if you please!) here.

We've new traffic islands on major bus routes, forcing double-decker buses to swerve out into oncoming traffic and pull hard 90-degree turns at junctions that used to be an easy merge, throwing passengers around like a bead of sweat in an aerobics teachers cleavage (eg. Plungington Road, Fylde road & Brook street).

Our 'ring road' (jauntily titled "Ringway") doesn't actually 'ring', pulling at best a meandering waddle from almost-one side to almost-the other.

The one way systems are bizarre and counter-intuitive, hopelessly confusing for natives and visitors alike. The entire Fishergate area is a prime example.

Only one Railway station, despite being a city. Lots of recent residential development right alongside the Blackpool line; and the route of the old Longridge line still largely intact, running right past the ever-expanding Red Scar Industrial estate (another traffic problem area). But then who'd expect people to want to easily and rapidly travel from a residential area to an industrial area (I guess our planners never played Sim City, or qualified in 'basic comprehension').

And the buses. Oh, the buses. Two operators locked in competition, for which the public are the only possible losers (referencing the incident in which off-duty Stagecoach drivers threw eggs at Preston Bus services, fare wars, apparently deliberate 'minesweeper' scheduling so the rival service arrives minutes later to empty stops, and so on).

A canal link, so the Preston - Lancaster (used to run right up to Kendal until the M6 was laid across it, slicing it off indefinitely just to make the motorway *slightly* cheaper to build) canal is theoretically connected to the rest of the UK network without open-sea travel. But practically unusable, since you MUST own a second engine, radio, and flares to cross the river Ribble (hardly commonplace kit on CANALboats), book your crossing well in advance, and pray for sufficient rainfall to let them operate the tidal locks.

/Rant
(, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 4:50, closed)
we dont even have
to do preston city centre, just from the colleges park school north to the motorway. its a 10 minute drive on a quiet day. Last night was an hour, last week it took 2. Its a good way to find the time to plot world domination though
(, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 7:55, closed)

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