The Round Table
I once built a time machine. It was a clunky affair, not like the kind of machine glorified by the likes Of Emmett Brown, or Alexander Hartdegen - oh no. I'd describe it as more of a simple featureless steel box, which contained within all the wonderous equipment which made time travel possible.

Of course the discovery of the ability to transform the machine and its content into photons was key - as was the ability to project those photons at above the speed of light, thus allowing them to be projected into the past. Of course there also had to be the ability to put the box into complete stasis, allowing travel into the future. These two differing methods were not without their problems - how to put the photon projector within the box to retain internal control of the time reversal? One day I cracked it.

Oh the fun I had, travelling through the whole of history, all the while of course having to plan carefully - I had to make sure not to upset the thread of history, lest I caused a paradox, or changed things in too heavy a way.
What if you accidentally killed one of your ancestors? Would you cease to exist?

That being said, the further back in time I went the less chance there was of this happening, as travel and geography enabled the avoidance of ancestral links to become more predictable. I felt that since my ancestry lay in Russian peasantry I would be pretty safe in most parts of the world.

On one of my jaunts I visited Britain around the beginning of the 2nd Millennium AD. The people there were very backward, and I found it very easy to explain away my strange ways and mode of speech. I came to be one of the main advisors and friends of the King at the time. I especially made friends with a highly intelligent friend of his, who he had installed as his main scientific advisor. Between my hinting and the obvious intelligence of this man we made life very much easier for the King to instill a sense of peace on his kingdom. Until he unfortunately had a falling out with one of the soldier types over a girl.

It was of course a magical time, and sooner or later I had to take my leave. Unfortunately one of the servant girls happened to spot me getting out of the bath and drying myself one day. I hadnt realised she's seen me until I had returned to the present time and a colleague of mine (a historical scholar no less) showed me an ancient tapestry which had been found, which seemed to depict amongst other things a semi naked man wearing a Knights helmet.

She said "One of the Knights pictured on the tapestry seems to be lightly clothed, as if he had just been taking a bath"

I told her "I WAS one of King Arthur's Knights"



"I'm 'Gawain Towelle'"
(kebabking - salad and garlic mayo pls, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:30, 1 reply)

Don't forget to bring a towel!
You wanna get high?
(ldwater otherwise known as a 'jive turkey', Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:05, closed)