Trading Floor Desktop Support
I got a call one morning from a senior trader who was fuming about his computer keyboard not working. I ran upstairs with a new one (no messing people around in this job, just get it fucking fixed) and had a quick look at it while he stood over me.

"Fucking fucker just stopped working this morning" he spluttered, angrily.

I was puzzled. His keyboard looked fine. Spotless in fact, compared to most of the grimy, crap-covered typers mashed daily by the sweaty hands of his trading team. I quickly checked the connections, all of which were snug. "Oh well, these things happen" I told him, unplugging the cable and setting up his new keyboard.

As I removed the old one, a torrent of cold brown coffee poured out all over my shirt and trousers.

"Fuck!" said the red-faced trader. "I thought I'd got it all".

The cunt had spilled his morning pick-me-up all over the desk, then attempted to clean up, going so far as to polish the keys to a shine to hide his mistake. Fortunately he apologised, paid for my dry cleaning and bought me many beers later in the week.
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 8:12, Reply)