What is it about being male
that makes people assume you can fix things? (Apologies to the lady-interweb types who've posted their stories on here; I fully appreciate that most of you are far more competent/ more qualified / less of a liability than I am)

I took a French Evening Class last year which turned out to be absolutely awesome. The class was mainly geared towards conversation, and the building-up of our confidence therein. The class was mostly female, and after the first couple of weeks, I was the only one of the guys that was still regularly showing up.

So basically, most Monday nights, I had an hour and half in a room full of some incredibly attractive young women*, with free licence to talk complete and utter crap** so long as it was in French.

But it got better: every time our teacher wanted to show us anything that involved anything from a combination of laptop, projector, TV, DVD player, VHS player, etc., she would invariably prod the wrong button and the media in question would disapper. As if the gender stereotype was just crying out to be reinforced, she looked straight to the only mancreature-with-a-knob in the room.
"Le Corbeau, est-ce que tu peux le faire marcher?"

And so I'd stride up, prod a few buttons on the remote control or keyboard, as if I knew exactly what I was doing, and suddenly the listening exercise or film clip would magically reappear. I had gambled and won. I had "fixed" the telly. In the eyes of a room full of REAL WOMEN, I WAS A MAN. WITH BALLS AND EVERYTHING. HEAR THE ROAR OF MY HONDA ACCORD. OH, YEAH.

*_{Women. Real live ones. I shit you not.}
**_{EDIT: Seriously, complete and utter crap. We all had to do a short presentation as part of the course, so I did one about crows. They all thought I was a bit odd after that for some reason.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 15:18, 5 replies)

Real live ones???
You sure???

Know what you mean, though - apparently having a cock n balls makes you infinately more knowledgable about computers, mechanics, and quite possibly minor surgery in some people's minds. Fuck knows why. I can barely dress myself in the morning.

Click!
( SpankyHanky, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 16:08, closed)

"Fuck knows why. I can barely dress myself in the morning. "
Is that just the difficulty in getting your grundies to stretch round your MASSIVE COCK because you are so INCREDIBLY MASCULINE due to your apparent ability to FIX SHIT?

_{And yeah, real ones, with boobs and everything. Proper boobs, not like my saggy man-tits...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 16:16, closed)

When I first started seeing my girlfriend she advised me she had three tits
Intruiged and just a little turned on I said: "Yeah?!?" Thinking about it, I must've been pretty pissed to think she actually had a third breast hidden away somewhere.

She lifted up her top and gave me a bit of a jiggle. "These," she said. "And this one here," she finished, pointing directly at me.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 16:25, closed)

I thought there would be
a masectomy joke in there.

I'm disappointed.
( Rookie You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 17:00, closed)

A masectomy joke?
Thats fucked. Really fucked. Though I'm gonna use this 3 tit gag on my boyfriend when he gets in later. :)
(Roosta, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 17:10, closed)