Unfortunately not me,
but I have a mate who hoards five pound notes. One draw of his chest of draws is so full of them it doesn't open or close properly any more. He's considering having his housekeeper iron them all, so he can fit more in.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 3 May 2012, 23:50, 7 replies)

Can he not upgrade to tens?

(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 3 May 2012, 23:51, closed)

I'm off to visit him this weekend.
I'll make the suggestion.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 3 May 2012, 23:57, closed)

I offer a good exchange system
shiny, shiny metal money in exchange for his crease-laden paper money!

(It works on my cousins)
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 4 May 2012, 0:00, closed)

You couldn't give me his address could you?
And some idea of when he's at work, or out for some other reason? Hmm? Just askin' like.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 4 May 2012, 0:52, closed)

he works at an incinerator in Slough
his job is to burn all the worn-out bank notes, and now he's got a complex
( ferret -> twitter.com/syfyautocorrect <-, Fri 4 May 2012, 4:50, closed)

for fuck's sake.
One drawer in his chest of drawers, you brainape.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 4 May 2012, 7:09, closed)

Bloody hell!
I always thought I had a reasonable standard of written English, but it turns out I'm a retard.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:54, closed)