Stool sample
Was on an overland expedition in Kenya and had been feeling like utter shit for a few days (high temperature, shivering, very loose bowels, etc), so, on reaching some godforsaken town, our driver suggested I visit the doctor's surgery and get checked out for malaria. The nice plump lady doctor did all the tests then handed me a tiny blue pot with a little "spade" in the lid and told me to provide a stool sample. She also handed me a huge rusty key and gave me directions to a nearby yard where about 100 kids were playing football. The key, it turned out, was to unlock the door of the worst toilet in Africa (made the one in Trainspotting look like the Hilton). So there I am, squatting down in a roasting hot corrugated iron shack (with a football being constantly kicked against it)over a stinking hole in the earth trying not to throw up as I pebbledashed the "facilities". Remarkably I actually managed to get some liquid poo in the container in the end.
The whole episdode left me feeling profoudly depressed, I can tell you.
Didn't have malaria though.
Woo.

No apologies for length or consistency.
( BobbyParadise, Thu 21 Apr 2005, 11:14, Reply)