Cub Camp Skid Mark Conspiracy
Due to depleting my bog roll stash at cub camp, I hatched an evil plan. After copious amounts of camp fire burgers and sausages I had to go for the biggest turd of my life, well of a 9 year old life anyway. Looking around the toilet that compromised of a hole in the ground there were only nettles and thorns to wipe my arse. I waddled back to the campsite and my tent which I shared with 6 other snotty cub scouts. What I proceeded to do next is pure Damian 666 stuff. I shared a tent with someone no one liked, called Johnathan. I rifled through his bag and found some white jogging bottoms. I then proceeded to wipe my arse, not on any old part of the garment but strategically on the rear area where skidmarks are commonplace. Once my undercarriage was clean I put them back in his bag.

Next morning imagine my surprise when said unlikeable lad comes out to breakfast sporting said white jogging bottoms. His backside covered in my rusty stab marks. He came bounding up to the picnic tables, stretching his arms with 'What a gorgeous morning' look on his face. Before he sat down I shouted "hey look he's shit himself". Once the hysteria had set in a gaggle of 2 dozen cub scouts chased the poor lad around and up a tree screaming 'Johnny Shitty Pants' at him where we proceeded to throw sticks and rocks at him for at least 30 minutes. It was a great holiday, but I can't believe how evil I was.
(TwoLeftFlipFlops, Thu 21 Apr 2005, 14:39, Reply)