Disney fucking land
Folks took me an my bro to Disneyland from the Santa Monica hotel that we were staying in, via a coach excursion arranged from the hotel lobby. There were several time slots to get coaches there, and several to get back. Mum and Dad got a bit tired at 9:30 and generously trusted me (14) and my brother (18) to catch the next or last coach back from the 'land in Orange County to Santa.

I go in to see a 3-d cinema show starring michael jackson (ewww...poor taste) while he went on Space Mountain and we agreed to meet up by the exit.

I can't find him. He can't find me. He asks security what happens when a kid brother says 'I've lost my older brother' so they take him to the "Town Hall" to wait for me to hand myself into park staff. But hello, what's this? I went back to the coach park, expecting him to be there...scared, I supposed he must already be on the coach, but the second I get on the doors close, and off we go back to S-Monica...shit... this is the last coach. I reason that he will get a free llift back with the cops or something (English teen all alone at closing time at Disneyland, surely someone would sort him out). I get back to the hotel room next to the one in which my parents are snoozing peacefully... very upset, waiting and praying that he will come back in any second. I drop off to sleep to be woken at 7AM by my Brother....walked back from Orange county overnight in LA with no money, no street map, no local knowledge, at one point stays in a diner with free coffee top-ups for 3 hours, didn't realise top-ups were free so panicked when the waitress filled him up as he had spent his last 50cents on the first one...was befriended by a local scally that says he will show him the way back to the hotel then tries to convince him to climb over the security fence of a posh hotel, when security come haring out with a slavering wolfhound, shouting "We know who he is, do not approach him at all costs". So he works out the way back to Santa Monica where, outside our hotel the previous night gang members were shooting warning shots towards each other , threatening a turf war. After musing at some interesting bass guitars in a shop window on the way back, Bro finally makes it back and wakes me up by coming in. Folks wake up and are struck dumb by his luck not to be mugged, raped and killed, and astonished at my dumb stupidity not to wake them up and tell them.

Mickey Mouse is a cunt, and so are all of his happy little theme park workers.

A couple of days later we went to 6 flags magic mountain and none of this shit happenes. QED.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 21 Apr 2005, 19:16, Reply)