Good god where do I start

disclaimer. Not all of these are on the same holiday, if they were I would be in an institution.

Chased by a group of French Foreign Legionnaires in Djibouti, barely escaped with my life.
On a boat that ran out of fuel in the South Atlantic, no radio, no flares, no-one to see them anyway, it's amazing how long you can paddle for if you need to.
A friend diving into the shallow end of a pool in Panama and crushing a vertibra.
A guy I was with being shot in the face with a .22 pistol in Montevideo, Uruguay on Christmas eve, he lived but the pellet was lodged in his sinus.
Falling of a huge motorbike (small moped) while drunk in Corfu, four stitches in my chin by a quack who thought anasthetic was for girls.
Going from Dubai to Abu Dhabi with an Arab driver who spoke no English but laughed manically whenever he braked and the car veered violently off the road and on to the verge (although that was sort of work so it may not count).
Waking up in the morning to find I had gone home with a girl who lived in a favella in Valpariso, Chile and having to find my way out.

Sometimes I wake up screaming and wish that these were just stories but they are all true.

Don't fucking go on holiday with me, and if by any chance you do please look after me.
(monkeypaws maybe I shouldn't..... Oh fuck, too late, Sun 24 Apr 2005, 11:32, Reply)