Deer in the headlights
Driving from my home out to western Pennsylvania, whilst working on a docu-drama for PBS (Public Broadcasting System) on the French and Indian War, I was cruising along at about 70 miles per hour.

I am in the center lane and this total asshole decides to overtake me on the right (over here, the overtaking lane is the left) and he screams by me at about 95-100 mph. Bad choice him.

Apparently, one of natures finest, the white tailed deer, native to this region, decided to cross the highway to get at the vegetation on the other side of the highway (it always APPEARS greener, but is the same shite when you get there).

As he is waltzing across the road, jackass in the steroided SUV screams past me. My eyes catch it literally as it is about to happen, the deer turns and looks at the rapidly approaching SUV and SUV boy doesn’t even brake.

WHACK!

I saw what I believe was the deers head careening in an arc across my lane...quickly my windshield was misted by a dark fluid and I decided braking was the best possible option.

Running out of my car to go see to the driver of the SUV (the deer, sadly, was not going to pull through: apparently, loss of an animals head is pretty indicative of popping his clogs) and when I get to the vehicle, through the steam of his radiator fluid, vaporizing on the heated engine, I make out the front of the truck....it is absolutely destroyed. Air bags deployed and water/fuel (presumably) all over the roadway.

I get to the window and the driver is GUSHING blood from his forehead. Like Old Faithful in mid-gush. It was everywhere. And he just kept looking at me with this ‘what the hell just happened” look on his face. I tried talking to him, but he was incoherent, so I went back to my car and grabbed some gauze pads (about 2”x2” little pads, really useless in an event like this) and went back and handed them to him, still sat there with that same look on his face.

It was, without a doubt, one of the single bloodiest scenes I have ever seen. The scary part is, about a mile or two up the road, I realized that if it hadn’t been for that jackass, it would have been ME that hit that deer. So, wherever you are, “Thanks jackass!”
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 22:19, Reply)