Close encounter, not of the turd kind.
No shit in this story, so scatmunchers please look elsewhere.

i was staying at my best friends house over christmas sometime in the early - mid nineties. His parents were renowned for throwing good, clean parties and didn't mind letting us older kids (16 or so) indulge in a little drinking. It's not like we were handed the keys to the liquor cabinet, but the beer was in the garage anyways...

As his sisters were staying out, I was given his bedroom and asked to lock the door. I thought the request a little strange but thought it might have had something to do with the family pet coming in during the night.

I was partially correct. I promptly forgot to lock the door, prefering instead to fwap one off over the mental imprint one of his fit cousins had left on me. Alcohol and wanking fatigue helped sleep claim me quickly and I probably didn't move a muscle until I felt a bulge press against my arse and someones breath on my neck. I nearly shit myself. As soon as I felt the arm come around my waist, I moved like a fucking snake towards the bottom of the bed and stood up.
Apparent it wasn't the dog I was supposed to lock the door against...

My friends father, (amusingly also a nude sleeper) sleepwalks and will literally crawl into anyones bed. After running in a blind panic to get my friend and tell him what had happened, we returned back to where I was sleeping to find his father now semi awake pissing into a wardrobe.

This story gets repeated every time I see the old git and remains to this day the closest I have been to being buggered up the arse by an older man.
(Fausted Sticking his faust where the sun don't shine, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:36, 1 reply)

ha ha

I love the ones that are truest :)
(The Cats Twat, Sat 8 Jan 2011, 2:30, closed)