Laura the Stripper
Two years ago I was living in a houseshare in Hove with three girl mates and wierdo we found on the internet (but that's another story, she was a nutjob and her nickname was 'The Onion With A Wig'), when one of our close friends had a leaving do as he was moving to Mumbai. We all went out in Brighton and of course we decided to host the after party back at ours, it was only a short walk back and the house was pretty back, although we had a murderous next door neighbour but that didn't really put us off.

So as the night wears on and more gets drunk and more people turn up until we have a load of people we dont know in the living room and we are all upstairs in my room generally having a lol. A stripper named Laura turns up and is the cousin of one of our mates but she doesn't actually know us. She comes up the stairs and asks where the toilet is, I kindly offer to show her downstairs to the loo and off we go, arm in arm as we are a little merry (very merry).

So she drags me in the loo with her and sits down, does a wee and then we realise there's no bog roll. So what else to do, but she stands up, grabs my housemate's bath towel and wipes her fanny on it in front of me, puts it back and says "probably shouldn't tell anyone who lives here that I done that" and then sticks her bright pink false nail into a bag of coke, scoops some up and offers it to be OUT OF HER NAIL as a thanks you for not telling the housemates.

Didn't ever invite her back.
(natakins, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:07, 7 replies)

So ...
did you shag her?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:09, closed)

obviously
while the Onion With A Wig watched on.
(natakins, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:15, closed)

Click
for 'Onion with a wig'. I imagine I can picture what she looks like. It's not nice.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:18, closed)

T'is true
She got the nickname because she does look uncannily like an onion with a big shit wig balancing precariously on top of it. I can't take credit for it though, that was my boyfriend. God just picturing it makes me die inside a little.
(natakins, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:21, closed)

.
I'd be inviting her back every day.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 13:25, closed)

She sounds ace
Do you have her number?
(rampants, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 17:55, closed)

Obviously...
...you snorted the coke.
( Regger, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 15:26, closed)