camp kev
best houseguest i've ever had. very gay and camper than a row of pink tents, kev was an absolute scream. he asked if he could stay for a while after his boyfriend, in a drug-fueled rage, tried to hit him with a wildly-swinging steam iron. i don't like to see a grown man cry, so i said yes.
for five months, my life was turned completely upside down. kev is very much a spur of the moment kind of guy, so i'd often be woken by him bounding on my bed, saying things like "let's decorate the batroom! let's go on a picnic! let's start a dance school in the living room!" never a dull moment with kev.
i was desperately trying to lose weight at the time, so was foolishly taking speed on a daily basis. kev was not averse to the odd bomb himself, so we were both pretty hyper the whole time. kev had a bloke who really fancied him, but he didn't really like said bloke. unliked bloke would give us a lift to the supermarket and back once a week, plus about £40 for food, as kev would always plead poverty. i tried telling the bloke we didn't need his money, but he would get very offended if i tried to stop kev taking it. shopping paid for, our own money went on fags, booze and drugs.
kev was very funny on drugs. he stole my purple silk dressing gown and took to wearing it around the house, in some bizarre homage to noel coward. he bought a toy cat, which he would use to say things about people. you know, kind of like "what's that, puss? david's a wanker? you really shouldn't say things like that!"
all too soon, kev got himself another boyfriend(who he's still very happy with, 10 years later)and moved out. things were certainly a lot quieter with him gone, but i did get more sleep.
i really miss those days.
*sigh*
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 9 Jan 2011, 18:02, 8 replies)

You have a batroom?
You are a rip-off of Batman AICMFP.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Sun 9 Jan 2011, 18:09, closed)

i now have a shower
i shower my bats in it
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 9 Jan 2011, 18:11, closed)

go on
show us yer bats
(mersault, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 12:40, closed)

*flaps*

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:37, closed)

He sounds absolutely wonderful :D

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sun 9 Jan 2011, 18:24, closed)

when we went shopping
he'd stand on the front of the trolley, fling his arms out and shout "I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!" all over tesco
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 9 Jan 2011, 18:28, closed)

I like this
I think I would also like Kev. Consider yourself clicked.
(berk, Sun 9 Jan 2011, 21:26, closed)

ta
you probably would like him, most people do.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 21:38, closed)