I am lucky to have been forgiven.
Instead of bitching about other people, I'll turn the spotlight on myself.

It's not a flattering picture.


A friend of mine from University got a great job, bought a flat and wanted someone he could trust on his very frequent trips that took him away for days at a time.

We'd lived together in our third year at Uni and had been friends throughout.

So I seemed ideal.

Unfortunately, I am a dickhead.

And he no longer had the cushion of 7 other people in the house to protect him from the full force of my twatwaddery.

In the space of a year...

...I burnt a hole in his brand new sofa, despite not being allowed to smoke in the flat apart from leaning out the window.

...I had a fag out of the window in the middle of winter then promptly left for the weekend without either closing the window or remembering to turn the heating off. The bolier blew up by trying to get the temperature up to what had been set on the thermostat.

...I locked us both out. On the first day we moved in. We had to smash out the reinforced glass in the front door to get back in.

...I was late with the rent almost every month and didn't pay at all three times.

...He caught me having sex on the kitchen work top.

...He used to have very early starts or odd hours. Getting in from work at 3am. Then being woken up by my radio alarm at 6 because I constantly went away and forgot to cancel it.

...I invited friends back and we drank his £100 bottle of whisky.

...I left the front door open for an entire weekend.

...I threw an apple out of my bedroom window at some noisy drunks, missed and dented his porche.

...after a night at the pub, he realised he'd lost his keys and went back to look for them. I promptly passed out on the sofa and he couldn't get in. For three hours.

...spilt a full bottle of red wine across the middle of his carpet.



After the end of the year, I took him to the pub and told him that I needed to move out.


I have never seen a man so relieved in his life...

Luckily I have grown up a lot, we're still close friends.

But he never tires to remind me that we wouldn't be if he'd had to put up with me for a single day longer, he estimated that, taking into account I only paid him 9 months rent, and the money he spent after I moved out replacing things, that I cost him around £6,000.

I promise, truly promise, that I am a much more careful, considerate and all round nicer person now than I was at 22.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 14:51, 3 replies)

How the
shitting crikey do you spill a FULL bottle of red wine?

Even if i was to hold one upside down it would still take about 8 seconds to pour out.

Thats a minimum of 8 seconds that you could have retrieved the situation.

I don't know, if just got a thing about red wine spillages after a girl spilled a large glass of wine all over my cream carpet. the timing was unfortunate as I was coming up on mushrooms at the time and the fresh stain looked remarkably like blood.

I got a rug to put over it and smoked some salvia.... i soon forgot about the stain, and everything else i had ever known, shortly thereafter.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 16:12, closed)

If I remember correctly,
I kicked it.

I was very drunk, so my memory of the event is hazy. It is possible it wasn't a full bottle, I have no idea.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 16:32, closed)

salvia + shrroms

= quite interesting.
(anvil, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 0:36, closed)