I've had some shite housemates
None of them were excessively appalling, but they all made living with them rather, er, difficult.

1- The Scottish twunt. Weighed about seven stone more than me, feasted on frozen Irn Bru and Mars Bars (throwing my food out the freezer to do so) and then sent me abusive emails calling me morbidly obese.
Refused to have any household bills in my name so I "didn't exist" if I tried to get any sort of credit.
2- Pissfruit. Skinny bastard with the face of Shakespeare, the body of a twelve year old and a Strongbow problem i.e. the ability to drink copious amounts of the swill. Thought he could play the guitar and proceeded to do so almost 24 hours a day, very badly. Imagine a man with no arms thinking he was better than the guitarist from Dragonforce (his actual claim).

But by far the worst, number 3. "The Coach".

This is the boy who has been fired from every job he's ever had (including one where he told recovering smack heads on mental health act sections how great smack was...) and thrown out of everywhere he's ever lived. Including his parents, five times. Before he was 18.

He would sit in the living room chewing his toenails. He had a VERY sticky big chest o' porn. He would dance around the flat at 3am singing Westlife songs in a falsetto Scottish accent. He refused to pay more than 10% of the water bill on account of the fact he "rarely, if ever, washes".

He rang me on New Year's Eve while I was in another country to announce that his friends had graffiti'd all our internal walls - "but it's OK cos I asked them to." You did, did you? When I got back four days later I found two broken windows, and a broken front door, because he had whiteyed out of his NYE party and refused to give up the key, so his thirty-odd guests had to break out to go home.

I chucked him out and demanded a hundred quid for the broken windows and door. He responded by removing the front door on principal of "if you break it, it's yours".

When I moved out he returned to the flat, removed the new front door, put his old one on and squatted there for six months. Before being evicted by a massive bailiff who, apparently, puked when entering the house on account of the smell.

All in all, three lovely blokes.

Apologies for length: first post. No apologies for girth of course.
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 19:07, 3 replies)

Dragonforce
Have a click for mentioning them!
(kitescreech still here, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 19:56, closed)

To be fair...
... I think most people are better than the guitarist(s) from Dragonforce.
(MJPerry was crude but clickable at, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 17:03, closed)

Great post, mate
Like it muchly!!!
( SpankyHanky, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 21:56, closed)