Best hangover ever.
After a night out celebrating a friend’s birthday, I awoke to find myself no longer in the club I vaguely remember entering, but in a bed. And not my own. I slowly take in my surroundings and notice it’s a girls room, and a load of photos of my friends. “This bird knows all my mates!” I think, before realising I am in fact in my own house, just not in my room.

Girl who owns the room comes down, starts saying how sorry she is and that she’s did something terrible to me, the worst thing she’s ever done to any one. I was rather confused. Normally when you get so drunk you can’t remember anything, you’re the one who needs to apologise. I rack my brain, what could she have done? Raped me? Stolen money? Cock blocked me? Broken one of my precious things?

After a full 60 seconds of saying “Just tell me!” she tells me how, when id been to drunk to get up the stairs to my room, she’d put me in hers and gone to mine, and then promptly pissed the bed.

What could be worse then a housemate pissing your bed? I’ll tell you, one who does the world worst attempt to tidy up a pissed bed. She had put the mattress sheet in the wash. Not the quilt, not the quilt covers, not even the mattress protector that heroically failed to do its task. (I tend to scratch myself in my sleep and get blood stains on the bed, so it’s needed) Cherry on top? She fucks off to Germany and leaves me to deal with it. I agree not to tell every one, but her cover story of me being sick in my bed made no sense (I actually filled a mug with puke that night, not a drop any were else) so every one pretty much worked it out.

When I was carrying the mattress down stairs, I touched a wet patch. The VERY worst part was her departing promises “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” Didn’t even bring me back a souvenir.

She was actually a pretty good house mate, but my god, some one else pissing your bed is the worst violation a man can fell.
(Mong goose, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 22:53, 3 replies)

some one else pissing your bed is the worst violation a man can fell.
Not been raped in front of your kids by an ostentation of peacocks I take it?
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 9:08, closed)

Or even
raped in front of an ostentation of peacocks by your kids. :-/
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 27 Feb 2009, 15:01, closed)

Precisely.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 16:29, closed)