in 2001 I came back from holiday to find my friend had moved out and a guy called Sam from the Isle of Wight had moved in.
Sam was a proper blokey bloke. He liked working out, drinking, arguing, fighting and crack cocaine.
He was about 5 foot 2 and built like Mike Tyson. We went out of our way to avoid mentioning his shortness.

The house was very untidy. That's just the way it was. It was our house and it wasn't going to change.
Sam didn't agree. It was his house now and he was determined to alpha-male it into being tidy.
His first tactic was to invite some slappers to the house and try to embarrass us into spring-cleaning.
After that failed he tried shouting, offering to share his crack and repeatedly threatening us with physical violence before hitting on a final solution: smashing around 30 plates and 24 eggs against the living room walls.
The stated reason for this was that we'd "driven him to it" and now we'd "have to tidy up".

Instead we just moved upstairs, where another empty room was ready for use as a substitute living room.
Nobody tidied downstairs until Sam moved out and the landlord came round to see how much money he'd have to take out of his deposit.
( Zuowan, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 16:01, Reply)