probably me
after lots of cocktails and shots, about 10 of us went to guilty pleasures up in camden. great night, we were just about the only people not in fancy dress, and i have some very obscure photographs this morning of us all dirty dancing with clowns and comedy strongmen and... bears.

anyway. my friend lara and i were the last 2 standing when it shut at 3am. we'd met some random bankers, who insisted that we went up to hampstead for burgers, so it was about 5.30am before we staggered home. and i only realised when i couldn't open the electric gates that i had brought my dad's house keys out, NOT my flat keys. flatmate was in bed as she had a 7.30am start today in a major rowing competition.

fuck. two pissed up twats in short skirts and high heeled boots trying to climb over 6' spiky iron railings is not a good look. nor is it a quiet one.

eventually lara fell over the fence and opened the gate when she tumbled past the sensor. result. somehow i got down without sacrificing my anus to the spikes and lara rang the buzzer. about 15 times. no response. then i realised she had just been pressing different buzzers at random. fuck. this is london. you don't know your neighbours, never mind wake them at 5.30 in the morning.

hastily, i rang flatmate's mobile, and after about 3 minutes of poisonous invective, she let us in before everyone else found out who was causing the kerfuffle.

i am very very unpopular today. there was an abusive message on the hall blackboard and everything. hence my hiding at work and have just arranged to go out tonight even though i feel like shit warmed up so that i don't have to see her...

and speaking of work, as it's dead on here today anyway, all i can hear are phones going off. hello. who is thick enough to call their solicitor at 5.10pm on a sunday? surely 9am monday morning is more appropriate...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 17:14, 5 replies)

Never ever ever
place yourself in a position where you might have to sacrifice your anus...

...not unless you enjoy that sort of thing.

click.
( SpankyHanky, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 19:41, closed)

no
whatever one's feelings on a bit of bumoley action, yay or nay, sharp metal spikes should not form a close relationship with it. or anywhere near it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 0:58, closed)

Hmm
Greenwich Head or Molesey Vets Head? Neither is really major. Tell her that and all's ok :)
(tweebianmonkey Should be known as Widget, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 22:49, closed)

ooh i have no idea
but the one she is doing next weekend is the oxford-cambridge one, but in reverse, if that makes sense?

her rowing outfit is drying in the bathroom. it looks as if a group of blind 90 year old nuns set out to sew the least flattering thing they could possibly think of.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 0:11, closed)

I might go in for
a spot of competition rowing. I'd be brilliant, my coup-de-grace, the "smash everything up in the room" always brings a good row to the pre-destined result - I win.
And if I don't........we start all over again.
I find that barefoot, wearing just a pair of combat shorts, face smeared with cammo paint is the best rowing outfit, it un-nerves the other side before even the first accusation has been delivered.
(Rsoles, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 17:38, closed)