Alex.
I shared a house for three months with someone whom I never engaged in a full conversation with, which is pretty difficult in a small terraced house.

Alex worked nights as a programmer and was apparently a Christian. If I said 'hi' to him he would mumble something I could not make out, point in a vague manner towards his door and scuttle off without ever making eye contact. I tried to be polite and talk with him but he had the personality of a slug. If I was watching TV and he walked in he would pretend not to have seen me and walk out again. He would even time his run from his bedroom to the front door when I was in the shower to avoid communication.

Sure, each to their own but after a short while this 'shyness' ends up being really annoying so I started to try and wind him up with small things like not washing up to see if it got a reaction (no), then it was having parties, leaving occult books out, smoking weed whilst he was around, deliberately having my then girlfriend scream like a banshee as we banged the bed against the wall.

Nothing. He just avoided me.

He did eventually move out after a friend and I decorated the walls of the front room, kitchen and hallway - top to bottom - with gay porn. (we found it - honest)

The following day he was gone without any trace he had ever been there.

There is a footnote to this story.

I bumped into Alex at a rave circa 1989. He was a tie-dyed, arms in the air, gurning loon giving it loads on the dancefloor. I stared totally gobsmacked at him until his dilated pupils slowly focussed on me and the synapsis registered who I was. Being in a 'friendly state' at the time I walked towards him and raised my arms in the universal 'gimme a hug you old bastard' manner only to see him go white and leg it as fast as he could.

There is another footnote to this story - his replacement was a lad who made Shaun Ryder look like a Mormon who had a whiz factory at his girls house. Sorted.
(Tugnut I got them all..., Tue 3 Mar 2009, 15:04, Reply)