not mine, thankfully (stolen from a friend's blahg)
In order to make things easier for you, the reader, I decided to use the symptoms of a sociopath as a way to better describe the crazy person I lived with for three months. Let's call him Damien.
Here we go:

*Glibness and Superficial Charm
Wow. Was he charming or what! I can’t tell you all the sweet things he said to me in that first week we hung out. He was cute, and even flew halfway across the country to help me move! I mean, he was a total dream for any girl (not that I was about to date a roommate).

* Manipulative and Conning
"They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims."

Damien began to try to control my life in any way possible. For example, when I was baking banana bread one night, he asked me to please ‘keep baking to normal hours’ because he couldn’t sleep. The smell was keeping him awake. He scolded me via email about paying a bill I slipped under his door in cash, saying that the coins in the envelope hurt his foot when he stepped on them. After a few days of his phone calls and text messages about my ‘mistakes’ such as leaving out the vacuum after cleaning (By the way, according to him, I was lucky my other roommates didn’t see it, as he knew they would be extremely upset over this), I decided to talk to my roommates about it.

When I talked to Jane, my female roommate, she said that he took weeks to choose a female roommate. It took 6 interviews with women before he chose me, and according to her, he chose me because I was hot (a charge that he denied). Jason, our other roommate, was one of the first candidates interviewed and was given the room on the spot. Damien was looking for a girlfriend through craigslist. He tried to date Jane when she first moved in and told me he insisted she text message or email all of the roommates whenever she had someone over, even if she was just hooking up with a guy. When she did, the other roommates told her there was no reason for her to do so.


* Grandiose Sense of Self
"Feels entitled to certain things as 'their right.'"

Damien liked to create rules for the apartment that did not apply to him and only applied to us. He created the list about two months into my stay, and most of them were directed toward me. Here are a few examples:

Quiet Hours

10pm - 8am, Monday through Friday.

If you are going to listen to music loudly, watch TV using the Home Theater System, sing, tap dance, talk on the phone or to each other loudly in any of the common areas, please DONT DO IT between the hours of 10pm and 8am, Monday through Friday.

Jason and Jane live right next to the living room. Please keep that in mind if you are watching TV, listening to music, talking on the phone or to each other loudly when they are in their rooms.

Mail

Please bring up everyone's mail from the mailbox, including the mail for your roommates. Place all mail that's not yours right on the coffee table.

Utility Bills

All Utilities are paid by Damien.

Electric: Damien can see what the previous months total is on the 9th of each month which is around when he'll divide by four and post on the white board. Checks are preferred over cash.

Musical Instruments

No musical instruments. Sound carries too well in the apartment, please practice elsewhere.

Guests

Please let all the other roommates know as far in advance as possible. if you are going to have someone staying over for a couple days or more.

Guests staying two weeks or more NEED APPROVAL from ALL THREE other roommates and also chip in on the utilities.

General Common Courtesy

No catty comments or bitchy looks or attitude. If you have a problem with one of the roommates, dont play the "Im going to be rude until he/she asks me whats wrong" game or talk behind peoples backs. Its childish, makes people uncomfortable and most of all: annoying! We are all adults here.

Damien regularly taped over the things we saved on DVR, never cleaned beyond taking out the garbage, and broke his quiet hours rules, as well as having guests over without approval. He also has bad grammar that very much annoys me.

* Shallow Emotions
"When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises."

The breaking point for my roommates and I came around Christmastime, when I decided to tape some of the cards we had received on a closet door in the kitchen. The day after I put them up, they disappeared. The other two roommates and I decided to leave Damien a note saying that we wanted them up and put the cards back on the door. Jane later caught him taking them down and asked him why.

“You can’t just go putting stuff up without asking, or take a roommate vote and totally disregard what I think and not ask me,” he said.

“But you can’t just take someone’s stuff down without asking. It’s rude. What is your problem with the cards?”

“They’re tacky.”

At this point, I could hear them from my room and he’s yelling at her. Jane is completely calm and rational and he is yelling, outraged. Jason overhears and comes into the kitchen.

“What’s the problem here Damien?”

Damien’s entire demeanor changes. He becomes almost calm, kind, and collected.

“Well, I just don’t want these cards up.”

“What’s the real problem here?”

And after a bit of prodding, he said, “Well, maybe I just don’t want these cards with their cheer looking at me and trying to make me happy. Maybe I just don’t want to be happy.”

It was at that point when we all realized it was time to move out. Pronto.

Did I mention he was extremely secretive and paranoid and kept his door deadbolted at all times? At one point, on Thanskgiving I knocked to see if he needed anything from the store. He later told me to never, ever knock on his door again if it was closed because it means he does not want to be disturbed.

Heaven forbid a fire start, because I wouldn’t want to break one of his rules.

* Pathological Lying
"Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests."

On top of passing white lies, Damien said he’d help us find new roommates when the three of us decided to move out on him. He said he’d put up an ad, but when we checked, he had taken it down. We put up our own and he had it flagged and removed from craigslist. The move-out process was a nightmare. We didn’t know if he was trying to screw us or just temporarily fuck with our minds.

At that point, we were all sleeping with our doors locked and I was fortunate enough to have met the guy I’m dating now, who let me stay with him fairly often.

I didn’t even say goodbye when I left because I was just so damn happy to be rid of the biggest asshole I’ve ever met. It’s a feeling of relief, but sadness too because honestly, the apartment was a great place, but not worth what I had to go through.
(jessemoya, Tue 3 Mar 2009, 20:18, Reply)