hairy fish pie gobbling
my third year at uni there were 4 of us in a horrid east london "townhouse" in scumsville: me, my ex and 2 other mates. my ex oswald buggered off for the weekend and we were having a spring clean. we girls were very clean, but oswald was a nightmare. pants in the bathroom; wank rags in the lounge (only when i was away, i might add); cigarettes lit off the toaster.

so we were cleaning and i was doing the lounge.

i could smell.... something. something unidentified and nasty. i looked around. nothing. i sniffed. ugh. i got down on all fours like some kind of denim clad bloodhound and literally sniffed out the plate that oswald had left under the sofa. i slipped my hand under there and withdrew it covered in slimy cheesy mould.

the little bastard had left a partially eaten dinner that was half spaghetti carbonara and half fish pie under the sofa and it was covered in fuck knows what. rusty ketchup, bogeys, hairs, dirt, ants... the lot.

i screamed and screamed and my flatmates ran upstairs and threw the plate straight out of the window.

when oswald got back, i yelled at him for leaving it there.

"oh yeah," he sniggered. "i wondered which one of you would find that."

he got no sex options but wank rags for two weeks for that.....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 21:03, Reply)