I just don't get itPoor Semiret, he's foreign and has no idea if he "should laugh about the whole 'only playing music when they are out of ice cream' thing or not." There's also a Far Side cartoon that has had him stumped for almost 20 years.
What don't you understand? What have you politely gone along with whilst internally going WTF?
(
chthonic, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 11:09)
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woo rantWhy ANYONE would by a brand new car. Ever. I just don't understand how this industry exists. Wait 3 years, pay 40-60% less. Maybe there are just more small dicks out there than I care to imagine, but there can be no other reason. £5000 more because 'it smells new.' What? Please, someone, email me, explain.
Adverts. I just don't 'get' about 50% of them. Something crap happens, then a product name comes up that has nothing to do with the crap thing that just happened. Unless its a car add, in which case I totally get it; lots of extreme stuff happens, like snowboarding, or running down a mountain, or bungee jumping, then its just like 'buy this car.' OH MY GOD, I DIDN'T REALISE THAT DRIVING WAS AN EXTEME SPORT. It's not, no matter how effective your vehicle is at killing children.
Religion - I've just never got it. You believe in this big weird dude controlling stuff or sorting ting out; why? No evidence, nothing, zilch, nada, kafuck. Seemingly no-where else in life will people just accept whatever tripe their told, but when it comes to something some dosser came up with MILENIA ago, everyones just 'woo, get me some of that.' It's bollocks, all of it, get over it, or tell me what the fuck I'm missing out on.
Indy. Your band are shit.
Girl magazines. You get pissed off because famous people are too skinny, while simultaniously having pages devoted to slating stars who aren't looking their best. Case in point Britney; all we ever hear is 'she too skinny' then the second she starts eating and living properly, they all jump on her back, 'Britney becomes bigfatbitch in McDonalds shocker.' Whoever's writing it is clearly a big fat jealous bitch anyway, fuck off and die.
McDonalds. Why eat there? It's not even the ethical thing I care about that much, it just tastes of shit. Burgers contain meat. I'm a fucking veggy and I'd still rather eat a decent burger than watch someone stick that tasteless tripe down their necks without even the threat of gang-rape.
Taking your kids to school in a 4x4.
Fraiser.
Marijuana; makes you sleepy, lazy, personable and cute. Illegal.
Alcohol; makes you hyperactive, uncontrolable, apathetic, liable to puke, violent or at worse, abusive. Legal.
Stoned people don't step out in front of cars. Stoned people don't hit their girlfriends. Stoned people don't start fights. Stoned people don't tear up your garden on a friday night. Leave them alone.
Jimmy Car. Not even sure if thats the guys name. Shit 'comdedian.' Why laugh? Why is he everywhere? Does someone find this funny? Why?
The Smiths - If someone's arrogant the whole of their lives, it's not irony, it's arrogance. Boring music. See 'Indy.'
Fat people - sorry, I just don't see where you're going with this one. Sure, eating is nice. But moving about, having a bit of a life, I'm sure it's so much nicer. Some of the best memories you have will be of things you've done, outside, not just sitting inside watching a video eating a beef or whatever. Go outside, run about, climb something, fight a bear, dig a tunnel - surely anything is better than just filling up your belly till most the world is repulsed by what you've become. Dance with us, oh fat one.
Gabba.
'Japseye' - is that your arse, or the bit you piss out of. Never quite been sure, pray tell.
Davy
(, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 2:19, Reply)
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