Shoes.
Right, what exactly is the difference between one pair of shoes and another? You get black shoes that you need to wear for interviews, and trainers that you need to wear for sports, and boots that you wear if you're being gothic or wanting to protect your ankles. Good, I'm with you so far.

So now: what is the difference between a Clark's size 10 men's black and the same thing bought cheaply somewhere else? Yeah, yeah, sole thickness and so on, but assuming they're both equally likely to disintegrate, why would one be preferable to another? I can see some have little stripy bits across the front for some reason, presumably to give extra protection in case you drop a cleaver on your foot, and some have more comfortable interiors, but what does it all mean?

This gets particularly bad with me and trainers. What in fuck's name is the difference between a Nike Air and an Adidas Predator? Labels, yeah, but how can companies claim to be innovating in the shoe market? So it's got air in it? Wow, big fucking innovation, guys. It's springy? It's...it's got bells on? IT'S IN RED?! Why does this cost me an extra £40? Am I actually getting anything by buying it rather than cheaper versions?

And what's the point in those ridiculous gothic Newrock boots? They're huge and uncomfortable and remind me of the cyborgs in Terminator. I don't understand why anyone would want to wear them, they've got ridiculous amounts of unnecessary metal and make you put on three inches and a stone just to look good. That's ridiculous.

And why do the girls I know wear high heels, then moan about them being uncomfortable? If it's not comfortable, don't wear heels. It's very fucking simple. I don't wear heels. Guess why? Not comfortable. The same reason I don't wear, say, cocktail sticks halfway into my neck and back. But with feet it's apparently alright to torture yourself for some fucking stupid reason with pointy things that simply don't fit and heels that make you wobble and fall over and look like a tit.

What shoes do I wear? Purple doctor martens boots. I like the colour and they fit me, and also I just plain find them comfortable. However, I don't find it necessary to have more than two pairs of shoes: one for school because they're compulsory and my boots for the rest of the time. Quite why people buy more than three pairs is a mystery to me.

Perhaps they like feet. This is also something I just plain cannot understand. Feet are on the end of your legs and without them it would be difficult to walk. Why is this a cause for a wank? Not that I'm anti-feet - I think they are a good invention - but still.

The point, and I do have one, is that I don't understand anything that goes on below the ankles (or in the case of those stupid newrocks, below the knees).

I just have to mention one more thing: I know a couple who have matching Newrock boots. Fucking sad cunts.

I apologise neither for length nor girth.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 10:08, Reply)