Hypocrisy
or how to be a drunk, selfish twat and not get laid.

In London town, many moons ago did I work and lo! twas a time of many changes for baz. I had

given up the marijuana and made a firm commitment to the alcohol. I was thinner then, brighter of

face, less-chinned and my vital organs didn't resemble a Damien Hirst installation as they may

well do now.

Prior to my arrival in London town, I was a lazy man; a role to which I have subsequently

returned but in London town I had become a hardworking man, bent on making something of myself.

The money was good and along with working hard in London town comes it's evil twin, 'playing

hard', which is much facilitated by having the money to do so.

So suffice it to say, I was generally pickled to begin with of an evening and as a result managed

to get nice and lubricated quite quickly as the evening drew in and continue to do so for some

considerable time.

The Irish brogue didnt do me any harm in the lady-meeting stakes over there and thus was I due to

join a lovely young lady at a gig in Brick Lane.

Turin Brakes were playing before they were profitable or popular (neither of which they are now I

would wager).

I arrived, paid the ladies entry fee, held the door and the seat at a vacant table in what was

then a quiet bar and offered an aperitif, which she graciously accepted.

I finished my first aperitif and made to obtain another, offering the lovely young lady likewise

in the process.

She declined.

"Slow drinker", thought I, "Nice one - might be saved a few quid"

And so the evening carried on...

And the crowd grew and grew closer and the lovely young lady suggested we vacate our table and

move towards the stage.

I concurred.

I was three or four drinks to the good at this stage to the lovely young ladys one. She didnt even want water.

"Weird", thought I but not too much about it.

As the show gathered momentum and smiles and furtive touches of the hand with the lovely young

lady took place in the increasingly warm and heaving crowd, I was making my way back and forth to

her as I fetched myself more drinks and her further declinations - I was thinking things were

going well.

The last time I had returned from the bar, my patience with people not moving out of my way and

spilling my drink was wearing thin. I briefly adopted the policy of my persecutors and barged on

through a group who had formed one of those cirlces in a crowd like an air pocket in a lava lamp.

Nature and baz abhor a vacuum so I just headed on through much to their chagrin and as I reached

the lovely young ladys' side, she by quite delightful coincidence verbally confirmed my suspicion

that there really were quite a lot of people just barging on through the crowd.

I said, "I know it's unbelievable how rude people are!"

We definitely shared a moment.

Unfortunately, the vacuum I had previously abhorred had been sucked into my slipstream and the two young ones whose chagrin I had agitated prior had been deposited as if through a black hole immediately behind the lovely young lady and me.

They heard every word.

They felt they should share my hypocrisy with the lovely young lady.

Baz didnt get laid that night.

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:19, 5 replies)

*click*
Not really sure why though
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:25, closed)

I constructed a tale of hypocrisy
therefore filling the mandate of this weeks QOTW?
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:27, closed)

Ah
That's why!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:34, closed)

thanks!
Yay!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:40, closed)

You are the bestest

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:47, closed)