My Grandmother,
Is quite a sweet old lady, she spends her time with her grandchildren, enjoys working on little arts and crafts type projects.

And is also an outrageously devout Catholic.

I occasionly come round my grandmothers place to do general repairs and other such activities around her house.

One Sunday, as I have completed the lastest round of repairs she has requested of me, she asks me the following question:

"Why Bailey, why is it that you don't attend Mass on a weekly basis?"

Well, the logical answer to this would be:

"Why Dearest Grandmother of mine, I shall begin attending immediately and with a very ravenous and fervent appetite for the Gospel"

But nay, I say the following:

"Because it's bores me, literally, to shit."

Needless to say, the full fury of this tiny old woman was leveled upon me and I left the property as fast as I could.

Following this, I did not hear from my grandmother for the next week, so I figure, I shall show up for Mass and attempt to reconcile with my dearest Grandma.

I enter the church and look for my grandmother, she is seated towards the back of the church amid a full row of her church friends. I sit about 4 rows behind her as the service begins.

After the gospel, I have so far made it through the service unvisited by the sweet embrace of sleep.

I look forward to my grandmother as the priest begins his sermon.

She is stone cold, fucking out.

And she remained that way the remainder of the service.

Turns out she died.


The bitch, Church bored her more than it did me.
(BaileyIs A Drunk, Alcoholics go to meetings, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 23:54, 3 replies)

Click
that is all.
(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 3:15, closed)

What Richy said
That is all.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 10:20, closed)

Ha!
That's a great post! Cheers for making my lunchtime more exciting... and I've got tuna mayo for lunch today, I really didn't think it could get anymore exciting than that! *click*
( SpankyHanky, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 12:57, closed)