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This is a question Apparently I'm a sex offender

I was once paid £15 to count the amount of people visiting a hairdresser. I stood outside for 3 hours with a clicky counter in my pocket, pressing it every time a person entered. Suddenly there's a copper in front of me, I turn and there's another behind. "What are you up to sunshine?" "A rival hairdresser wants to count the competition" "Well, there's been a call from the shop owner that there's a ginger bloke standing outside fiddling with his cock." Have you ever done anything that made strangers think you were a pervert?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2006, 22:20)
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Mummy hurt me while Woodchopper held me down
A few years back I got on well with the couple that lived across the road in the Edinburgh mews in which I lived. Every so often I used to babysit their delightful two/three year old daughter.

One day I was leaving the front door and I saw mother and child walking down the street, and the child was crying her eyes out. She had a huge wooden splinter in her hand.

The child was so distressed that she refused to let us examine her hand. She refused bribes, veiled threats and cajoaling, and all the time got more and more hysterical. We considered taking her to casualty, but thought she might get even worse in a stange environment.

Eventually, I pinned her hand to the table while her mum removed the spelk with a pair of tweesers.

Next morning at kindergarten, the child was asked what she got up to the day before. She replied "Mummy hurt me while Woodchopper held me down". Fortunately her mum was able to explain things before the authorities were involved....
(, Fri 18 Aug 2006, 14:31, Reply)

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