Apparently I'm a sex offenderI was once paid £15 to count the amount of people visiting a hairdresser. I stood outside for 3 hours with a clicky counter in my pocket, pressing it every time a person entered. Suddenly there's a copper in front of me, I turn and there's another behind. "What are you up to sunshine?" "A rival hairdresser wants to count the competition" "Well, there's been a call from the shop owner that there's a ginger bloke standing outside fiddling with his cock." Have you ever done anything that made strangers think you were a pervert?
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rob, Thu 17 Aug 2006, 22:20)
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Sex offender by proxyI was on the sex offenders register. I went off on holiday as you do and left my keys with my brother so he could feed my fish, pick up the post, etc. Unfortunately he also had my car keys. The bastard goes kerb crawling, picks up the undercover policewoman and gets nicked. He then says he's me and gets away with it due to me leading a blameless existence. I only find out a few weeks later when I helped two police cars stop a car they were chasing down the M6. They got the chavs in the car waved me on and I didn't think anything more about it until one of the policemen phoned me up a couple of days later to say thanks and "by the way I wiped the kerb crawling charge off your record." "Erm, what kerb crawling charge? When did this happen?" And it was while I was in Goa. Seeing as only my brother had access to my keys it was a bit of an open and shut case. I never said anything due to the very recent birth of his daughter but I wish I had done now. Because it's partially fucked my life. I used to lead working holidays as part of my living. Not anymore because anyone who's been on the sex offenders register is blacklisted for very obvious reasons. If you're reading this brother, I hope you die of cancer somewhere morphine hasn't been invented yet.
I won't apologise for length, it's not me who's too small...
(, Sat 19 Aug 2006, 20:34, Reply)
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