These were told to me by a friend...
...who had just spent a few months in America.

Yank: So, where are you from?
Him: England.
Yank: Really? Wow! We have relatives in France!

???

Also, he was asked on many occasions (without a hint of irony) if all English people had tea + crumpets at 4 every day.

Have you ever seen an episode of Only Fools and Horses called Miami Twice? In it, the Trotters go to America and keep getting mistaken for Australians. That kept happening to my friend, and he isn't even a cockney!

Edit: He's going again this year and has promised to write down all the stoopid Americanisms for me!
(Mr Slippyfist, Fri 7 Jan 2005, 11:16, Reply)