Dumb Japan
Whilst I was working in Japan with an assortment of native English speakers from various countries, Japanese people asked questions such as:
Do you have football in England?
Do you have baseball in America?
Do you have cucumbers in Wales?
Do you have cotton in New Zealand?
Does everyone in America have a tattoo?
My Welsh friend Pred, to who the cucumber question was directed, replied, "Yes we do, but they're not stupid, small ones like in Japan. In Wales they're f**king massive. It takes three men to lift them." Cue much cucumbery excitement from his Japanese audience.
I holidayed in Detroit with some of these friends. My Kiwi chum experienced this conversation with an American:
US: Are you from England?
NZ: No, I'm from New Zealand.
US: (looking blank)Oh. Man, you speak real good English. What's your real language, like the one you usually speak?
NZ: English
US: No, your, uh, native language. Say something in your native language.
NZ: F**k off you twat.
US: Oh, yeh. Cool.

Americans, post more stories of dozy things we Brits have said!
( thealternativefact, Fri 7 Jan 2005, 14:35, Reply)