Three here:
Firstly a girl at school (pretty girl, thick as two short planks) says her favourite poem is Phillip Larkin’s “Ignorance” (said with heavy emphasis on the second syllable). She realised what she’d done almost directly after but it was the mispronunciation of the apt title that tickled me.

In a similar vein my brother’s girlfriend repeatedly claims, on IM programs, that she is a “genious” (sic). However she is from Thanet (Kent b3tans know what I’m on about) and so being able to turn on a computer should be applauded.

Lastly my brother claims that cinema screens “should have Braille subtitles so the blind know what’s being said.”
(jamesthegill opens new tabs with his scroll wheel, Sat 8 Jan 2005, 20:28, Reply)