I live in Schveeden
how many times have I started with that line eh? I mean Really.. you must all be bored.

Anyway. I tend to hang around on my bike, or chill with a book near a big fountain in the middle of town etc... I'm usually outisde.

This puts me in line of (friendly) fire of... Tourists.

1.
Tourist (T): "HEY BUDDY!!! Where can I get one of those special army knives?"
Me (M): which ones?
T: The ones you make here!! I want to take one back as a souvenire
M: do you perhaps you mean the SWISS army knife? (dripping with obviousness)
T: Yeah, that's the one.
M: sure, there's an outlet store that way. (pointing south)
T: How far?
M: keep going 'til you pass Germany.
T: Great, Thanks!!! (strolls off towards the rest of europe).

2.
Tourist to Wife.... "but Where are all the polar bears?"
(We're no further north than Newcastle)

3.
Tourist in supermarket talking to wife...
"They're famous for it world-wide, but I can't find it anywhere!!"
He then asks a shop assistant where he can get "Swiss Cheese". She was around 50, and didn't understand English.... After he'd tried twice more, (raising the volume each time) I had to step in and translate. She laughed her ass off. He indignantly aksed for an explanation.
Me: Swiss cheese is made in Switzerland. You're in Sweden.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Sat 8 Jan 2005, 23:39, Reply)