Whilst on holiday in France....
...my family and I stopped at a bar for some lunch. We place our order and are just getting seated when another English couple and friends walk in. Loud Londoners who think that they know all. So one of the blokes goes up to the bar and starts to order drinks with no attempt at speaking French. So waitress replies with no attempt at speaking English (even though we knew that she could). As I remember, the conversation went thus...

Bloke - "We'll have two Cokes"
Waitress - "Oui"
Bloke - "and a white coffee"
Waitress - "Oui. Cafe au lait"
Bloke (looking slightly anxious at use of French) - "and a brandy"
Waitress - "un cognac"
Bloke - "no, a brandy"
Waitress - "Oui, un cognac"
Bloke - "no, a b-r-a-n-d-y"
Waitress - "ah, oui. Brandy" (obviously had enough of taking piss out of shameful excuse for an Englishman)

Was very hard not to laugh at this little exchange!!
(Krusty the Klown, Mon 10 Jan 2005, 21:54, Reply)