Stupid blonde...
I used to go out with an exceptionally stupid blonde girl. Her crowning moment was walking along the Thames on our way to a night out.

Her: (Sees a sign saying "Towpath") "So why's this called the towpath?"
Me: "Well, before the industrial revolution, barges were towed up and down the Thames by horses"
Her: "Horses? What, in the water?"

Cue visions of shire horses in armbands, me standing there stunned while she didn't realise what was wrong with what she said. We split up very, very soon after that.


I also convinced a friend that England were, and had been at war, with Kenya since 1964 over Marmite mining rights. Y'see, Kenya has the largest natural supply of Marmite, and stopped the British from allowing them to mine Marmite in their back yards in a bloody coup...

(Note to Americans and other aliens - Marmite is a browny-black yeast-based toast topping, peculiar to the UK and Australia. And it rocks bells. And Marmite mining is a euphemism for cocoa shunting).

Same friend once asked while watching WWF, and seeing Jerry "The King" Lawler, "Is he really a king?". We told him, yes, Jerry "The King" was King of America....
(dickybt, Tue 11 Jan 2005, 8:49, Reply)