Not My Gran...
This litle snippet of wisdom came from not my gran, but my grandfathers wife (re-married) so i'm pleased to say i have no blood relation with them.
We were sat watching TV one christmas, and one of those loan advets came on TV, with the little toddlers giving legal advice (voices dubbed on).
She comes up with the gem "isn't it clever how they make them say such intelligent things?"
Clearly missing the fact that they had dubbed actors voices onto the images of children.

Another one, whilst walking through a park at night, a group of us were started on by some chavs, who at seeing that there were 8 of, proclaimed "theres 8 of you, so me and him get 3 each".

Or whilst working in an electrical shop, a woman coming back in furious that her kettle wasnt "compatible" with her electrical sockets. Claiming that she was mis-sold the item, and wanted her money back. She had forgotten to remove the plastic safety cover over the plug...
(Nyphur, Tue 11 Jan 2005, 13:54, Reply)