Our American friends Part 2
Just remembered another American one. First, apologies, I know your country can beat us to a pulp (except at any proper sport) and you are the industrial heart of the world but you do export some heedjits!

Anyhows, me and my gfriend were in St. Lucia on very nice holiday. She's a qualified diver and so i thought i'd do the discovery dive thing. It takes about 30 mins practice in the pool first, breathing with the thing over your mouth, etc. Next day you head out to sea for the real thing. You get the picture.

We hook up with a honeymooning American couple doing the same thing. Big brash southerners. The first exercise in the shallow end of the pool is to hold our noses and blow through the nose underwater to pop your ears (equalise the pressure).

Anyway, Billy Ray (or whatver) tries for 30 minutes to do just this. He can't even do it out of the water. Variously letting go of nose and breathing through mouth. In the end he and Emilou-Jo (or whatever) give up. Emilou- Jo says asks my gfriend whether we'll still go on the dive the next day. She says yes cos I passed my tests. Emilou-jo says "Does that mean you can swim, sugar?" Gfriend: "Yes, it helps"

Emilou-Jo: "Oh...We can't. We didn't know you had to be able to swim to go diving!"

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Also:

Canadian friend during US election:"Jesus, I'm sick of hearing about the US election on the TV."

US 30-something high school teacher: "It's important you know. You should take more of an interest. Voter apathy is xyz..."

Canadian friend: "Well, I'm Canadian so it's nothing really to do with me"

US teacher in astonished voice: "That's a disgraceful attitude. He's your president too..."
(Gusofnavarone always makes a map of france from sarnies, Tue 11 Jan 2005, 14:16, Reply)